Heart Hurt So Deep

Very pain.... really so hurt my heart.... i cant say anythings..... i saw something really really painful.... sometimes if can i dun wan saw this situation but y GOD let me saw tis things.... y? Y?...... i really hate tat... i know i lost a important things in my life.... something tat really important things... i hate myself not becoz of wat... i hate myself y i must be so stupid to let chance go away.... y??? sometimes think tat maybe she not the one.... keep thinking ok maybe wait for dun know when until i can meet my important.... keep telling myself dun think too much.... the true and things already happen... i should accept it.... but my heart.... REALLY PAIN... really pain... i pain last 2 years and now i force to meet tis pain again.... y i wan to suffer tis..... did i do wrong in the past 2 years? so i need to suffer tis pain rite now? i already tired working working..... FOR WHAT!!!! i just wan a person be with me and walk with me in future... is so difficult ma? like tat also call Hard than i should leave tis place.... maybe other place will suitable to me.... i dun know but if still like tat..... if i need to suffer tis pain again and again i should leave.... i hate like tat.... y i must pretent so kind.... y? y i always need to wear those stupid face to face they all for wat??? y i cant be myself??? y i must think others ppl 1st than later think myself?? in the end i get wat... NOTHING!!!!! nothing i get.... all i get is others ppl happy but me..... myself.... lonely... sad.... unsatify.... boring... somemore.... i already fed up... is enough.... good guy are cant leave in tis world... only bad guys will leave in tis world... actually i need to be bad guys in 1st not good guys.... i already live in outside world already 4 years and stupid until now i understand those ppl are using me....!!!! Use me to do tis!!!! use me to tat!!! use me to do wat they all need to success they goal.. I dun care u wan to do to me.... i wont be good guys anymore.... I pray GOD tat pls let me be bad guy from now onward.... AMEN!!!!!

At Last I give up......

At last..... i give up.... i think i not suitable 2 her gua.... i think my lifestyle not really suitable 4 her gua..... i better wake up from tis dream coz i think is enough la... always dreaming tat can with her 2gether.... ahhh.... wake up loh liam.... is enough.... u not the right person to give her everythings tat wat she need ok.....
today.... still de same working whole day long.... today i know 1 things in tis world.... sumthing tat i need to change 2 survive in tis world is to be BAD GUYS..... not good guy... is become bad.... bad guys can make ppl scare... bad guys can make ppl feel tat u are strong... bad guys can make ppl tat u not easy to bully.... i need 2 be bad guys... i dun wan let ppl feel tat i easy to bully or wat....
tis feeling i had enough!!!!! IS ENOUGH!!!!!!
i already fed up everythings..... even though my fren or wat.... is enough..... already overlimit...
Today also 1 things make me confuss.... my fren suddenly ask me wan 2 join venture with him or not.... but now i oledi settle my new job.... i already headach... dun know wat should i do.... dun know i should join or not? should i give up? now i'm standing in T-Junction... where should i go? will i regret if i choose any of them? Pray GOD tat can give guide tat show me the road tat which road i ned to walk or maybe fren who read tis blog pls some comment.... i really ned some advice so tat i can walk next step....